I want a partner. I think this has been the result of much of my recent thought. It’s why I tell The King and My Friend on the Facebook. Not the only reasons — the ones I have before are still the primary reasons — but part of it is seeking a partner. Maybe the reason CAPrime doesn’t understand my drive to tell others is because he has a partner in CASecond. Someone like him with whom he can share everything.
I spoke for a while to The King today, trying to fight the tendency I talked about last entry. We talked for a bit about “costumes,” and how hard it is to wear them. I said I didn’t want to live my while life distracting myself from the fact that so much of my life is misdirection. Having a partner would help. Having another boylover who can share my musical interests: that would be ideal. But just being a boylover would be OK. I’m not sure I could be with him sexually…
Anyway, I have some thoughts forming in my head, but I don’t think they’re ready for paper. I do know this. I need to improve my fincancial situation.
