I am listening to one of the first CDs I ever bought. When I was 13 my mother took me to the newly opened Borders in the town. I selected two CDs to buy with my allowance that remain among my favorites in my now considerable collection. Exultate is a Vienna Boychoir CD featuring soloist Max [...]
Archive for the ‘Unknowable Longing’ Category
Sweetest misery
Posted in 13, Introspection, Unknowable Longing, journal, tagged boy, boy soprano, boylove, boys, CDs, choir, Max Emanuel Cencic, music, pedophile, pedophilia, singing, treble, Unknowable Longing on May 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Crash
Posted in Introspection, Unknowable Longing, journal, tagged boy, boys, choir, crash, cute, depression, emotion, friends, friendship, Liebesschmertz, music, pain, singing, Unknowable Longing, voice on April 25, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes I find myself daydreaming that I can talk to someone. I can be quite articulate and eloquent in my head. But I’m not often that way face to face.
I’m feeling depressed today. Last night I saw and English men and boys’ choir perform at a local church. They were pretty good. I had some [...]
Rain
Posted in Introspection, Job, Memories, Unknowable Longing, journal, tagged Boy Scouts, boylove, boylovers, boys, concert, fantasy, helpless, job, melancholy, nostalgia, pedophile, pedophilia, rain, raining, rehearsal, rescue, restuarant, self-loathing, sick, sing, society, umbrella, Unknowable Longing, work on January 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I called off from work tomorrow. They’re not going to be happy about that, but I must get better. My voice is almost completely gone and I have a rehearsal tomorrow, a concert the day after, and then a service, another concert, and a singing-social event on Sunday. I can’t take chances.
I remembered something as [...]
Dear Frankie
Posted in Introspection, Movies, Unknowable Longing, journal, tagged boy, boylove, boylover, boys, deaf, Dear Frankie, emotion, father, feeling, love, mother, movie, need, Unknowable Longing on December 29, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I just rewatched Dear Frankie. I’d guess it’s the fourth or fifth time I’ve watched it, but it’s been a while since the last time. I wish I could come up with words to truly describe how the movie makes me feel. But the emotion is too raw, too primal, too pure to be accurately [...]
Evil plan
Posted in Memories, Unknowable Longing, journal, tagged boat, boy, boylover, boylovers, boys, cousins, cruise, dolphin, evil plan, excursion, hot tub, lie, mentor, past, penises, pre-teen, scouts, ship, shower, tall tale, teen, unkowable longing on December 17, 2008 | 2 Comments »
About 11:45pm. My evil plan failed. I think I waited too long.
After the pretty horrific show tonight, I went back to the room to change and go to the toilet. Along the way I committed myself to try my evil plan. Place myself in a hot tub on the main patio (not the adults only [...]
