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Posts Tagged ‘blog’

Among my friends, I am infamous for bad jokes and humor that most people find more annoying than funny. Here is a favorite of mine:

So, two muffins are sitting in a microwave, spinning around on that little turny thing. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Christ! it’s hot in here.” The other muffin says, “Holy crap! A talking muffin!!”

I bring this up because this blog has become much like a muffin. You know it’s there, and you look at it every now and then, maybe even “consuming” some of it. But you certainly wouldn’t expect it to SAY anything! Well, not any more. THIS BLOG IS NO LONGER A MUFFIN!!!!

Just sayin… Of course, I don’t know WHAT I’ll post. Or when. But I definitely feel something coming. :P

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Well, such momentum couldn’t last forever without effort.  It’s been hard for me to come to this blog recently.  I’ve had things to write, but I just didn’t feel like writing them.  Yet again, however, I am determined not to let this endevor fail.  I will continue this blog.

Part of the problem is the video games.  Another part is the depression I’m starting to feel.  It’s just a cycle, and this should be a relatively mild one considering things are going well in my life.

I’ve quit my job (Tuesday is my last shift), I like my new job, I’m supposedly going to be mentoring a boy, and I’ve been seeing a lot of my friends.

The other problem is that I’m reading again.  How does Stephen King do it?  In On Writing he recommends writing and reading every day, but how?  If I like what I’m reading, then that story consumes me.  I just can’t…  I can, but it’s difficult to write even a journal when I’m reading a book.  (Dark Tower III.  I love Jake Chambers!)

While time with friends is great, I wonder if it contributes to my depression as well as softening it.  Every time I’m with The Boys or My Friend On The Facebook, I kind of want to tell them my secret.  But I know how they feel about pedophiles.  Obviously the idea is that I could change their minds, since they would have to reconcile their friendship with me, a known individual, with their hatred of a faceless demographic.  But while they could (and I think would) choose me, the possibilities exist that they’d do the opposite, or fail to make a decision at all and just reject that part of me.  Not all my friends will react the way The King did.  I was fortunate that he already suspected the answer and had, for the most part, come to accept it.  He still had (and has) questions, but they don’t have a bearing in his acceptance of who I am.

I think I need to at least tell My Friend On The Facebook.  For friendship to truly grow, there must be truth.

Maybe Jess too.

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My blog has recently been getting a fair amount of traffic from two German BLogs.  I wish I spoke German so that I could really read them.  I can sort of understand using translate.google.com as a crutch, but I’m missing so much of the nuance that I’m sure is in their writing.  Anyway I’m glad to have found others blogging, actually blogging, about boylove (boylinks’ BLog list is full of dead links and inactive sites); what it’s like and what it means to be a boylover.  Not just another blog-hosted pic site destined to be deleted after a sufficient number of moral crusaders complain about the “child pornography.”  Not only are their days numbered (perhaps mine are too.  How would I know?) but all they tell the world is what type of boy they like to look at.  A picture can speak volumes, but eventually words must be used too.  I don’t wish to demean these pic lists (they are what they are and they serve a purpose), but they feel…trivial.  (Now I sound arrogant; as if my own barely filtered ramblings are the height of profundity.)  They serve only one purpose to one demographic.  There is little dialogue beyond, “wow! he’s hot!”  And those who are not enamored with the pictures and their subjects are repulsed by our reactions.  They cannot see the complexity of the emotions we feel towards the boys depicted.  Only the lust.

And the world really can’t afford more polarization on the issue of boylove.  Or, I suppose it is boylovers who cannot afford it.  This started out one thing and ended up something else entirely.  I apologize for getting preachy, and for getting off topic, not to mention for any offence I may have caused.  I almost didn’t post this because of the tone of contempt (which I don’t feel) it conveys.

If you are the owner of one of the two German BLogs now linked in the side bar, welcome and thank you for linking to me.  If you are a new reader directed here from one of those blogs, welcome to you too and thanks for taking the time to come check me out.  If you have never heard of these two blogs before and you are comfortable with German (or even if you’re not and you don’t mind mucking through Google’s clumsy translation) then I encourage you to go see what they have to offer.

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I had a few things I wanted to write about today.  Let’s see if I can remember them all.

I turned on the heat today.  I didn’t even need to, and that sucks.  I turned it on to keep the house above 60 degrees while I cleaned.  Then I didn’t clean.  Waste of fuel, waste of money.  I’m determined to keep my utility bills low this winter.  If that means keeping the house freezing while I huddle near the space heater, then so be it.  Winter will not rape my finances again this year.  No $300 gas bills.

One thing I’m apparently not determined to do is clean.  As I said, I turned the heat on to clean, but I never did.  I folded laundry, but that’s about it.  I really need to get it done tomorrow.  Sissy’s coming Friday and I have work and rehearsal on Thursday.  I have work tomorrow too, but it’s early.

Which leads me to two other things.  I could stay up and clean now, but I’m having trouble waking up in the mornings, so I should go to bed early.  But tomorrow I’m planning to go out in the evening with The Boys and their Lady.  That will make problems with the cleaning tomorrow thing.  Then again, if all else fails, I can stay up late tomorrow and Thursday since I con’t have work until 11 and 5 the morning/evening after.  I’m tired now and my actually be able to sleep.

The Restaurant served Mississippi Mud Pies today.  Oh chocolate!  Obviously they were for the guests, but most of us (all who wanted one) got a slice.  Mmm.

About a week after starting this blog I got my first few readers.  Three of them.  They arrived through such tags as “journal” and “stray.”  Ha!  I bet they did not get what they were expecting!  I’d really like to know how they reacted when they realized what they’d found.  But maybe I wouldn’t.  I can imagine it either way, and it’s not divied just along their reactions being positive or negative.

So this journal/blog are really sucking up time.  The reason I didn’t clean?  Yeah, general distaste for the activity, but I was doing this instead.  There are worse things I could have been doing.  Video games, for example.  But it was still procrastination.

I need to get on the ball.  Find a sub for next week at the Citadel, respond to Sue’s director.  I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting to do.  There always is.

I finally got my travel info to the bozo at that horrible choir I sang with a few months ago.  Other than them giving me my money, may I never hear from them again.  I still need my oil changed.

I just saw, the notebook I bought a little while ago…  It’s wood free.  That’s awesome!

I was doing some musical improv today.  I really wish I’d recorded it.  I need to do that the next time my mind goes there.  I had some great material for a mass.  A good one this time.  Oh well.  Made me feel like I could actually consider composing again.

Well, I think I got a lot of waht I wanted to down.  I’m sure I missed a lot, but I got some other stuff I’d never planned on.

Oh!  The reason I’m working on Thursday now, I picked up an extra shift.  Stupid!  Actually it’s probably good.  Earn some extra money before taking a week off.

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